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When kitchens go bad

I love this card by Modern Toss. My good friend Holly got it for me while I was having my new kitchen put in. She felt my pain.

In short, acquisition and fitting of kitchen, aka, Groundhog Day, involved:
  • eight visits to Ikea, Croydon in a two-month period (more than enough to provoke paranoid psychosis, as well as manic depression)
  • one blazing row with good friend, in Croydon
  • one penalty notice for stopping on a red route (to have a blazing row)
  • four tortuous, Pinteresque phonecalls to Ikea's "customer service" department (and I use the term loosely)
  • one belated discovery that I'd bought the wrong (and non-returnable) type of oven from Ebay
  • not enough units/too many units/complete alienation from the kitchen plan
  • one 58cm mystery gap that sneaked in when no one was looking
  • one faulty tap which wobbled and made the water taste like nicotine
  • green-mindedly trying to sell the old kitchen on Ebay with both success and disaster in quick succession
  • one formica-phobic builder
  • two key pieces of wiring, missing (only to be found in... yes... Ikea, Croydon)
  • one £80 carousel that couldn't be used - or returned... yada yada yada. As the card says...

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